


Hermitcraft oneshots

by ChiliTheCockatiel



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Drowned, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hybrids, birb, hermits are like 16, hermits are not 16, how do you tag, tango burns objects that arent even flammable, when you want to upload while being busy so you write 2 words and call it a day, why was there no Joe character tag, writersblock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27483715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiliTheCockatiel/pseuds/ChiliTheCockatiel
Summary: So grian is anxious about getting pro beak while getting pestered with messages from the hermitcraft chat about tango somehow burning stuff that isnt even supposed to burn to a friggin crisp
Comments: 25
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

Grian paced around the living room, running over the list in his hands one more time.

**\- Cage**  
**\- Pellets**  
**\- Toys ( a lot of foraging toys)**  
**\- Travelling cage**  
**\- A buttload o perches**  
**\- Bowls**  
**\- … (more stuff idk i had a bird a long while ago so i guess more stuff)**

He wouldn’t admit to having added way too many things to his list, but you didn’t need to be a detective to know he was planning on spoiling his new macaw as much as he could.

The only thing he wasn’t very proud of was its name. Like, Professor Beak, That’s the best he could do? He wasn’t the best at names, counting on the fact he’d named his goldfish Goldy when he was 10, but Grian tried his best to think of good names. Y’know, he tried! But it was too late to turn back, unless he could think of a great name on their drive to the bird rescue, so he’d have to stick with it.

“ Mum, c’mon!” He called from across the house, impatient to start the drive over to his new pet.

“ Coming! It’s like 5 minutes away, relax honey!” Grian’s mother stepped into the living room. She was in a knee-high blue dress, smoothing out her hair. They both headed over to their car, Grian practically jumping in the passenger's seat while holding the new bird’s travel cage.

Just as the car started, Grian’s phone buzzed.

**126 new messages from ( Hermitcraft Groupchat )**

**TangoTek - Do you guys wanna come hang out tmrw**

**Falsesymmetry - sure**

**ImpulseSV - alr**

**Zedaph - sure**

**Grian - Cant, got somwhere to go**

**ImpulseSV - where**

**Grian - pet bird business**

**ImpulseSV - wait since when did yu have a bird**

**TangoTek - cool**

**Grian - I will in a bit :) going to pick him up**

**StressMonster - nice :)**

**Grian - Alr bye were almost there**

Grian closed his phone after a few goodbyes and looked outside. His mom was pulling up to a large building with the large words PARROT RESCUE at the front and a bird logo. He practically busted out of the car, almost dropping his phone and speedwalked to the door. His mom followed close behind, checking if it was the right place on her phone before prompting Grian to go in.

They walked into a spacious area and were flooded with a wave of obnoxious, varying screeches and chirps that made Grian’s mom jump. Grian didn’t flinch though. He had taken getting a bird so seriously he had blasted bird noises in his bedroom for hours to get used to the noise. It felt like home. On all sides were perches, large cages and bird toys scattered and made into the perfect place for a whole bunch of feathery bois.

“ Hi! Come to pick up a bird?” A friendly-looking employee said, walking up to the pair. She had shoulder-length hair and tan skin, splattered with a few freckles.

“ Yes. We’ve come to pick up this one?” Grian’s mother showed the lady her phone, with a picture of a large blue macaw. ( dont ask what species just imagine pro. Beak from hermitcraft ;-;)

“ Oh, our macaw. This way!” She led them over to a corner of the room with a large cage similar to the size of what Grian had ordered, where the parrot from the picture sat perched, staring at them and studying Grian in particular. _Shit he probs hates me already-_ Grian presumed, trying his best to look unthreatening to the macaw. It shuffled closer to him, lowering his head.

“ Have you paid online already? Sorry, bit new around here.” The employee chuckled, opening the cage and beckoning the macaw onto her arm. He took a while to decide, but finally took the offer. _Already tamed, that’s handy._ Grian thought, smiling at the bird. It looked back at him, making a curious chirp noise.

Grian held up his travel cage, allowing the lady to put the parrot in there with a little bit of effort. He held down the cage, noticing it was heavier and kept moving slightly.

“ Anything y'all need? Do you have everything set up for the little guy at home?” The lady asked.

“ Yeah, I got his cage assembled and filled last night. Everything’s at home.” Grian spoke up, smiling.

“ Alright! Well, if that’s that, you two- ahem, three can go along!” She said, waving.

The pair waved back, walking out of the building.

As they got into the car, Grian sat in the back to give Pro. Beak some space to sit in his cage next to him. He didn’t dare open the cage, knowing to take it steady with his new buddy from, well, WikiHow or something I don't know where he did research.

His phone buzzed yet again.

**1 new message from ( Mumbo Jumbo )**

**MumboJumbo - Saw your message on the groupchat hows the bird doing?**

**Grian - Pretty good. We just got him from the rescue were going home rn**

**MumboJumbo - nice Whats he look like**

**Grian - (image of le epic birb)**

**MumboJumbo - Cool! Hes huge man thought you got like a budgie or something**

**Grian - Nah we got a macaw. Were home talk after i get him set up alr?**

**MumboJumbo - alr bye**

Grian got slowly out of the car with the travel cage, smiling at his new pet bird and walking inside. His mom helped him get pro. Beak inside his cage with some tricks and Grian sorta just sat on the couch and kinda just watched him explore his new cage.

“ Uh- hi Professor Beak. we’ll be best buds, trust me. So, alright whaddya do when they get home- right leave them be for a bit.”

He opened up his phone, not even surprised to see 100 new fresh messages from the group chat. Mostly just chaos of Tango asking for help after somehow managing to burn microwavable ramen.

**Zedaph - Ok but like how does that even happen**

**Falsesymmetry - I once burned a slice of pizza so i dont have the right to question it**

**Grian - i leave for 10 minutes and now Tango has burned microwavable ramen im not even gonna try to make sense of this**

**Tango - look i seriously tried to not burn it this time ok now why is it getting greenish**

**ImpulseSV - now hes poisoned it great job dude**

**Tango - NAH i barely touched it i swear**

**Tango - My sister dared me to make a meal with my eyes closed and it just happend**

**Stressmonster - WaIT that explains a lot**

Grian almost choked on his water, laughing and texting a sarcastic response on his phone.

After 10 minutes of chatting with the hermits and leading Tango through microwaving a new batch of ramen, he texted goodbye and slowly walked over to Pro. Beak’s cage. Slowly, Grian looked around. All doors were closed and there was a curtain over every window. He opened up his cage, smiling at the bird for a bit before sitting back on the couch. The parrot squawked, slowly climbing over the the edge of his cage before flapping out and immediately flying back in. well, that was a sure start.

Grian scrolled through reddit for a bit, often glancing up to see Pro. Beak waddling around on top of his cage and occasionally going back in.

As evening rolled around, Grian slowly approached Pro. Beak’s cage when he was inside for a drink of water and closed it. The parrot looked up at him, flapping back up on a higher perch to feel safer and glaring at Grian. He waved good night to him, covering his cage with a blanket and going to his room.

Next day, Grian was woken up by an obnoxious amount of buzzing from his phone.

**239 new messages from ( Hermitcraft Groupchat )**

Grian just casually assumed Tango had managed to burn his morning tea or something as he clicked on the chat. Turned out to be the hermits saying good morning and bullying Tango for having, indeed, somehow scorched his cereal to a crisp. Grian had to do a google search to make sure that was even remotely possible.

After vibing with the hermits for a bit he remembered he had a bird and walked into the living room. As he pulled the cover off Pro. Beak’s cage, he was met with a lively, cheerful squawk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what pro beaks species is so dont ask   
> im pretty sure the minecraft texture is supposed to be a Hyacinth but I refuse to think a teenager should be able to have that kind of bird 
> 
> typos in text are intentional cus who types in text perfectly, but anywhere else is an accident so please point those out.
> 
> bye


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi

Ok so this is just to say I have a few ideas on new chapters and have started some so I may update this

If you happen to have requests feel free to tell me

Alr have a good day :]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye


	3. Joe gets writer's block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the hermits are in the HermitCraft universe now
> 
> basically I've been busy with other stuff but still wanted to upload here, so you get a little thing of precisely 100 words. Enjoy!
> 
> you know its a short chapter when the summary is similar in length to the actual content

Joe paced around the shopping district, staring blankly at his notebook.  _ How dare you lose every idea or prompt you’ve ever had like that? _ He thought to himself, a pencil hovering over the page. 

  
He decided to take a walk, searching for inspiration. This happened every once in a while, where he would get a severe case of writer’s block and just forget every idea that ever crossed his mind. 

  
A stroll around the server usually got him back on track, though. Sure enough, after a short walk and a rant to like 6 hermits, he was writing once more.


	4. Sleepy X go brrr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sleep deprived. Best thing to do while being such? Write about characters being sleeldelrived AND ANGSTTTT

Xisuma strapped on his elytra. His vision was slightly blurry, but he'd gone for so long like this he didn't even realize. As he reached to strengthen the straps, he caught a glance at his watch.

2 AM 

Jeez.

How long had be been working?

His brain forgot like 2 seconds later though and he reached for his rockets. As X launched into the sky, he completely ignored the buzz from his communicator. The wind in the night sky immediately caused a problem, whipping the wings on his elytra on an uneven angle and sending him side-first into a tree.

The disturbing crack knocked him into his senses, though, and then he was overwhelmed by a wave of pain on every part of his body to the point he couldn't bring up the strength to scream. 

X tumbled head-first onto the grass of the jungle floor, another crack echoing in his head. This time, he screamed out in pain, both of his arms and his entire side seeming to scream in pain. 

After a solid minute of sitting in his own blood, he slowly grasped his communicator, typing something he couldn't even read.

XisumaVoid - Jekp

XisumaVoid - jjjjunfle 

The only thing he heard before passing out was an explosion of buzzes from the device. It was comforting in a way. Help was coming. 

" he's waking up yall!" The muffled voice voice of someone made X flinch. He squinted open his eyes, light overflowing his senses. Pain too. A lot of pain. 

X looked around the room, seeing a whole lot of worried faces staring back at him. 

"Jeez X, if you scare usike that again- it won't be good." His twin sitting on a couch next to his bed blurted. He was sweating and looked a wreck, pretty much X but not hurt and with white hair. 

"Xanus, chilllll," said a british voice from somewhere in the room. There were wayyyy too many british hermits for him to identify by voice. 

He closed his eyes again, attempting to put his hands over his head before realizing both of his arms were in casts. 

" ok, please just tell me what happened." He mumbled, looking around the makeshift hospital room.

"Oksobasicallyyou-"

" WHOA Now, Impulse talks at the speed of light since like 2 weeks ago so lemme explain. You were a dummy and didn't strap your elytra on properly, the wind knocked you into a tree we think, and here we are." Tango said much more clearly than a certain creeper-shirt lad. 

X grimaced as he remembered the night before, nodding quietly.

" K, he literally fell 10 meters to the ground a few hours ago, let him sleep." Cub ended the conversation, herding everyone out (ex could stay cus of course) and then left. 

Ex, being the worried bro he is, stayed on a chair in the room, along with Joe and Cleo coming in every few hours to do medical stuff. X slept for like a day straight. 

When he woke up, it was a new day obviously that was gonna sound better than I thought ANAYAWS (it is next day now I'm not half asleep and that was my pathetic attempt last night at Anyways ok this is good enough Bye))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What kd this


	5. What do I write next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi

Basically I have way too many ideas on what to write next so I need more opinions here's some of the things I've got a good idea on

A hermit (y'alls choice) being a hybrid of a drowned and they're vibing with a drowned buddy and another hermit is like WATCH OUT and injures the drowned buddy and hermit is like NO AH HEALING POTION QUICCKKK and reveal moment said hermit is drowned hybrid and backstory yay 

Watcher angst with- you guessed it- our evo gremlin Grian so a watcher comes into the server corners grian magic duel scene watcher wins and pulls out magic op god enchanted sword and as they're about to go stabby a hermit distracts them and they only end up like scratching grains face which makes him blind because angst watcher leaves cus hermits chase them out and and epic grian is blind and confuzzled montage

Going back to the simple days of hermits in a modern world being sixteen, sleepover time:DD chaos and bloodsh- I mean MORE CHAOS

Those are only the top ideas which one do yall prefer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye


	6. its hybrid o'clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i totally just stole DoctorSiren naming ex Alex i know i know criminal

X raced Alex down the beach. The two threw handfuls of sand and rocks at each other when they would get farther than the other, laughing and being bros. 

“Dude, who’s that?” Alex pointed to a figure in a hoodie far down the sandy shoreline from them, sitting on a rock and talking to themselves. They were next to their pet parrot (everyone had a pet parrot on the Hermitcraft server) and talking to the sky.

“Think it’s XB.” X replied.

“ Oh the quiet bearded one?” Alex replied, having not spent much time around the other hermits other than X. 

“That’d be him. Let’s say hi, you’ve never met him before!” X said, grabbing on to Alex’s arm, practically dragging him down the shoreline. Alex tried to tug away at first, being the introvert he is, but X had a grip of steel so he gave up. The twins started approaching the shorter hermit. As they came closer, though, X noticed something in the water. 

“Watch out!” He loaded the bow in his inventory and shot the drowned swimming around the shallow waters near XB. An arrow lodged into its shoulder, and it gurgled out in surprise. A greenish-blue blood seeped from the wound. That was expected. 

What they didn’t expect, though, was for XB to yell out, jumping into the water and dragging the drowned onto a very shallow part of the water as if he was worried for the monster. He looked towards the twins.

“Why’d you do that?! Healing potion or something, quick!” The twins stood in shock for a moment, then X took out his ender chest and pulled out a regeneration and fire resistance potion. 

Alex jogged down to the drowned, casting a confused look at XB then pulling out the arrow and holding a towel from his own inventory (in case one of the twins tripped into the water, as usually happened on beach trips) against the gash. 

“Why the heck do you care about this guy so much?” He blurted out, staring at the pained monster, which had been gurgling sadly the whole time.

“Well, I was planning to confess to the server in a more calm occasion. But, well- I’ll say later X WE DONT NEED A WHOLE HOSPITAL ROOM CMERE” The drowned tilted it’s head to a teary-eyed XB at the sudden loud tones, gurgling something. 

Alex was even more confused when XB gurgled something anxious-sounding back.

“Ok here.” X had crouched down, putting the towel on the drowned’s wound to the side and pouring a bit of fire resistance into the creature’s permanently gaping mouth and pulling them onto the sand. Then he poured the regenerating on it’s wound and the three watched as it stitched itself together. The drowned sat up, looking at the twins in a hostile confusion. 

XB gurgled something reassuring, and the drowned’s gaze softened. He looked towards him, gurgling something back.

“Welp, guess i have some explaining to do. Basically, um. I don't know why I’m so scared to say this counting on the fact most hermits are hybrids on the server, but you’re looking at a drowned hybrid.” XB muttered. He had an arm around his drowned buddy.

“You don’t look like one. Aren’t you supposed to have, like, some drowned features?” Alex asked, looking the awkward supposedly drowned hybrid up and down. XB thought for a moment, then pulled off the thick boots he always wore to reveal he not only had webbed toes, but a greenish membrane running down the back of his ankles.

“Ok- that’s proof. But why is it only subtly visible you have drowned genes, like isn’t 50/50?” X asked. 

“Idk man. Plot convenience.”

“What’s a plot?” Alex muttered.

The three ended up walking each other home that evening, not before XB made sure his drowned buddy was perfectly fine for the night. The hybrid felt a weight lift off his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye.


End file.
